[blackjack21]

Hey folks. I've got about another two weeks supply of toilet paper, and everywhere I look for it, it's still completely sold out. So I'm thinking to get a GFCI installed in the privy chamber and ponying up for a Toto S550e. I was wondering if any of you has any experience with this sort of thing?

[Godstud]

Just get a bum gun. They are cheap. Not as fancy, but they serve the same purpose and all you use the TP for, after that, is to dry. far more hygienic.


I have used an actual bidet a few times in Bangkok, at a Japanese hotel. It was really groovy. I'd recommend getting a bum gun, or a bidet.

[Ter]

I only saw bidets in old-fashioned apartments, like the one I lived in as a kid in Europe. My brother and I thought it was for washing your feet in. Actually we peed in it because in that bathroom there was no toilet.
The other one I saw was in a very old five star hotel in Nairobi, where Queen Elisabeth once stayed.
Bidets are originally meant to be used by the woman after sex, to wash her nether regions.
The word bidet comes from old French meaning small horse (I won a bet with that knowledge).

But I agree with @Godstud , a hose next to the toilet is the best option. Once you start using that there is no going back.

[AFAIK]

I haven't used TP in 12 years and hate having to use it when I visit le west. A quick blast from the hose gets you cleaner faster.

#bumgunmasterrace

[Godstud]

Join the Master Race, @blackjack21. Get a bum gun!

[ness31]

ya’ll have a weird water fanny fetish going on. master race my ass..

[Pants-of-dog]

And if you can not install a bum gun, you can always just shower afterwards.

[Godstud]

@Pants-of-dog No.... that's just wrong. It's a very messy way of cleaning up.

ya’ll have a weird water fanny fetish going on. master race my ass..

If you ever try it, you'll be instantly sold. You are cleaner than if you sat there for 30 minutes wiping with a whole roll of TP.

[ness31]

I could possibly be swayed on a Japanese loo, just because they border on the miraculous. But a bum gun is trying too hard and achieves nothing my sphincter can’t do on it’s own. The actual design of the pucker hole means once you’re done and fully retracted the surface should be clean. So unless you are jamming a bum gun up the anus, (no judgement ) technically, wiping is even more thorough.

You need to watch Jerry Seinfeld and Dave Chappelle discussing the sphincter. It is it’s own animal and I wouldn’t humiliate it with a garden hose.

#peoplewholistenedinhumanbiologymasterrace

[Godstud]

The actual design of the pucker hole means once you’re done and fully retracted the surface should be clean.

If that is the case, then what is the TP for? I challenge you not to use TP the next time you take a shit. From what you say, it shouldn't be a problem. Hell. You shouldn't even need TP if that were the reality.

So unless you are jamming a bum gun up the anus, (no judgement ) technically, wiping is even more thorough. It's not, though.

No, you aren't pushing a bum gun up your anus. You're washing away the feces. You then simply use the TP to dry.

When you wipe with TP all you're really doing is spreading the shit around until it's simply too thin to notice. It's not actually clean.

[ness31]

Well if you wipe like you quote, then no

[Thunderhawk]

Is the bumgun pressurized? Is it a jet of water (flat stream?) like a garden hose? Do you wash using your hand like you would in a shower or just hope the stream pushes it all? What angles are you aiming to not get yourself wet?

[Ter]

Is the bumgun pressurized?

No, just the normal water pressure from the mains.
If the pressure is too high then this can be reduced with the tap next to the start of the hose.

Is it a jet of water (flat stream?) like a garden hose?

No, it is like the fine jets from a shower head

Do you wash using your hand like you would in a shower or just hope the stream pushes it all?

The water jets take normally care of the cleaning, there is no need to use your hand.

What angles are you aiming to not get yourself wet?

I never measured it but I would say about 45 degrees is OK.

Toilet paper is only required to dry the area afterwards.

[ness31]

I cannot believe we are having this conversation. Fucking surreal.

[Godstud]

It's on topic....

[Pants-of-dog]

@Pants-of-dog No.... that's just wrong. It's a very messy way of cleaning up.

If you ever try it, you'll be instantly sold. You are cleaner than if you sat there for 30 minutes wiping with a whole roll of TP.

I am assuming that people are still self isolating and have run out of toilet paper and are also unable to go to a hardware store.

But yes, if you can access a hardware store, buy the bum gun. The plumbing is very easy.

[Godstud]

I don't think people are running out of TP. I just think blackjack's looking for an alternative.

[blackjack21]

I don't think people are running out of TP. I just think blackjack's looking for an alternative.

I was down to my last two rolls when I realized I needed to buy more as the crisis was developing, and that was in early March. I bought more, but my supplies are dwindling now as I haven't been vigilant and didn't think I needed to be, and every time I go to the store, there is virtually no toilet paper. I do not understand it at all. I would understand people hoarding Lysol. Lysol kills everything: viruses, bacteria, fungi, etc. It was originally intended as a skin disinfectant, but didn't get FDA approval. If I have so much as itchy feet, I spray Lysol on them. I'm not worried in the slightest about the skin irritation that precluded FDA approval. If it was hurting me, of course I'd cease (don't spray it in your eyes, as it will damage the cornea). On the contrary--and as the son of a doctor--I realize that Alkyl (50% C14, 40% C12, 10% C16) dimethyl benzyl ammonium saccharinate is the bomb. It's cheap. It really doesn't bother even my uber white pasty ass sensitive cracker mother fucker skin. Kills everything.

I'm okay with showering every time I shit too. Is that really necessary?

This TOTO S550e is telling me a different story. $1000 is a lot of dough for a toilet seat, but I'm increasingly concerned that I am not going to be get my hands on toilet paper in a reasonable time. My uncle double ordered and is willing to keep me running after a few weeks when my supplies are out. After that, I'm kind of fucked. Again, I'm okay with showering, since I work at home anyway.

The first two weeks of this I made shit tons of Minestrone soup. It's tasty as hell, but getting boring. I can feed myself for a week on that for $30. I can order in for about $35 for two people. I've been doing that too, just to keep kitchens running and drivers working. When I can pay 'em in toilet paper, I'll know we've crossed the Rubicon.

[B0ycey]

Funny thing about toilet roll in our store. When there was no toilet paper, they filled the aisle with kitchen roll. It made me laugh. Same fucking thing in an emergency.

[Godstud]

Wow. Some friends and I should buy a bunch of TP and send it to USA as a Care Package, and then sell a bunch to pay for it.