[jaydedjen110]

https://themighty.com/2016/02/how-to-respond-when-someone-says-retard-or-retarded/

This includes 'lib-tard' which, frankly, proves to me how intelligent the person I'm talking to is:

How many of us have been in a conversation with someone — a friend or coworker, perhaps, or a new acquaintance — and he or she casually uses the R-word in a derogatory way? It can be a difficult situation to navigate, especially with someone you’re not totally comfortable with. What’s the best way to express how problematic and hurtful that word can be?

[mikema63]

Usually I just understand the context and don't cry quietly to myself about how they just dont understand the struggles of those who are retarded.

[Pants-of-dog]

I do not believe this forum is ready for a discussion about ableist language.

Kudos for trying, jaydedjen.

[jaydedjen110]

I worked with developmentally disabled adults, so I admit I have a thin skin when it comes to that word. To me, it's disrespectful.

[mikema63]

So has my husband as it happens.

[XogGyux]

What is really offensive is the meaning, more precisely the fact that it is being used as an insult rather than the word itself. Simply stopping using this or that word to describe an insult is futile. Many of these words once were used to describe clinical manifestations. Imbecile, moron and retard (retarded) were once clinical words in the same way that you would use the words anemic, jaundiced, infested, etc. In the same way you can say racist and offensive things using "african american" instead of black or negro, or whatever, you can be offensive using "mentally challenged, disabled or IQ challenged." Is it disrespectful? only when used as an insult (I think) and I bet that is the reason it is used in that situation after all... to be disrespectful, to show the recipient that you think very little of him/her. People with disability are the real victims (twice, once when nature cheated them with their illness, and when society use them as buffoons) but it simply reflects the insensitivity of us as a society that see them as lesser.

[Bulaba Khan Jones]

It depends on the situation, but this really isn't very complicated. If you're just out in public and there's people talking and you overhear them using words you don't like, it's probably not your business to try to lecture them about your own choice of vocabulary. @jaydedjen110 If you're at work, and since you work helping people who are disabled, just do what any other professional would do and ask them to please not use derogatory remarks around you. The same goes for any other professional setting: what's said between two friends or coworkers in complete privacy and confidence is their own business as long as they keep it entirely to themselves, but it's just not appropriate when other people overhear them.

I use the word "retarded" with certain people when I talk about something that's not good, but a lot of people overuse the word in that context, so I tend to use it sparingly. Obviously, when I use "retarded" to describe something I don't like, I am not talking about someone who is mentally disabled or otherwise handicapped in some way, and it's simply a word in that case with absolutely no relation to people. Some people don't like that word, such as my younger sister, so I generally refrain from using it when I'm around her because it's not a big deal.

Ultimately, a word is just a word.

[Rancid]

I throw the word around a lot to try and diminish its meaning.

Kidding, kidding.

[mikema63]

As an example, moron was just a word applied to a certain iq score. It the then became an insult. Then low IQ people were referred to different words. Then it became an insult.

We kinda have to address the root problem and not worry so much what series of sounds we apply to the root idea.

[Frollein]

And here I thought you were referring to the word "racist"...

[Saeko]

Scream, cry, throw things, and whine about it on the internet.

Or... you know, grow a thicker skin.

[Frollein]

And here I thought you were referring to the word "racist"...

... or Russian...

[Saeko]

... or Russian...

*shudders*

Don't use such offensive words, Frollein.

[Frollein]

OMG Saeko I'm so sorry, did I trigger you??!! I didn't mean to.... can I give you a hug?

[Bulaba Khan Jones]

So anyways, I was called a gringo once by some douche. I shrugged it off. I didn't find it to be "a difficult situation to navigate" and I wasn't scarred for life or otherwise traumatized. Insults are meant to be hurtful by design, but I'm genuinely perplexed by people who talk as if it's going to leave them deeply traumatized, or blow things out of proportion. People need to develop a thick skin and get over insults and bad words. I'm sure at some point in elementary school I was probably fighting a kid for dibs on a basketball during recess and I was called a "retard" or something. So what? Why throw a fit over shit like that, even if you're an adult?

Just as a note, I am obviously not talking about, for instance, a black person who is constantly called a N***** to their face by white Southerners and ends up feeling apprehensive around white people, but the kind of example given in the OP about people just talking normally/in public and whatever.

@Saeko Why have you not mentioned BB lately? Are you not interested in being an activist for your own identity by affirming it and celebrating the many facets of your intersectionality?

@Frollein I was once hugged so hard by my grandma I felt a tiny bit constricted a little bit. It is a deeply traumatizing memory for me. Please don't discuss hugging around me because I feel very triggered about it.

[Saeko]

OMG Saeko I'm so sorry, did I trigger you??!! I didn't mean to.... can I give you a hug?

Yes, please.

@Saeko Why have you not mentioned BB lately? Are you not interested in being an activist for your own identity by affirming it and celebrating the many facets of your intersectionality?

What?

[Bulaba Khan Jones]

Please, no discussion of hugging around me.

[ArtAllm]

And here I thought you were referring to the word "racist"...

The same happened to me!



I know what the abbreviations "JQ" and "J-Word" mean (that are forbidden topics, you are supposed to ignore them), you are not supposed to use the N-Word, too.

But the new linguistic creation, "R-Word", as we now know, does not refer to a particular race or to "Racism', it is just a diagnosis (retarded).

So why do the liberals try to outlaw the spelling of this word?

Guilty knowledge?

[Frollein]

Yes, please.

(((Saeko)))... no, wait...

{{{Saeko}}}

[Saeko]

(((Saeko)))... no, wait...

{{{Saeko}}}