[Comrade Ogilvy]

European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraceful, and they should go away.

By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!
And zen ve vil take over ze vorld!!!

(Move to Gorky or Peanut I agree)

[Togliatti]

uhu??

Anyhow,I prefere French,as it's always been in continental Europe since latin was replaced, in the 15th century.

It would be more respectful of European History and identity.

[Krasniy Yastreb]

^ And you don't want to speak the same language as the Americans...

[Boondock Saint]

HA!

I like English best ... as would be obvious ... I am a yank!

But Spanish is a close second ... especially here in the states, as Spansih happens to be the second 'official' language.

[Truth-a-naut]

Awesome, they do the same thing in 1984 too, Newspeak is doubeplusgood! Oldspeak is doubleplusungood and a thoughtcrime!

I wonder how the people of Europe will take this.

[CasX]

I don't get it. What's the point of an 'official language'?

[elusio]

there is also a difference in english and american terms...
for example americans like to change "s" to "z" because its easier to comprehend for them... however americans still call it english...

europe's language can only be one... english... why? because its the most used and recognised language in the world...

elusio

[arcis]

"europe's language can only be one... english... why? because its the most used and recognised language in the world... "

why?

Because English is the most simple one to learn. The biggest problem is to level down all things to the structures of the english language.

[Boondock Saint]

Ok ... are some people not seeing the original topic is a joke?

And when do Americans change s to z?

[Comrade Ogilvy]

Ok ... are some people not seeing the original topic is a joke?

And when do Americans change s to z?

Good job Boonduck! I have been laughing my ass of the last two days cause no one seem to get the joke.

Read the last liners of the original post out loud. It sounds like a german trying to speak english. HeHe

[Demosthenes]

I got it too. Just didn't have a comment. Why not make Swaheali (whatever???) the official language, then nobody has an advantage and everyone is equally mad about learning a new irrelevant language.

[Truth-a-naut]

I don't get jokes that well...

[CasX]

europe's language can only be one... english... why? because its the most used and recognised language in the world...

Lies! The most used (population) language is mandarin.

And I think the most used (nations) language is Spanish, or maybe French.

And when do Americans change s to z?

In about every word that has an s then an e as the last two letters in 'normal' english.

[ZenWilsonian]

It took me until the last lines for this to click. Thanks for wasting my time, loser. This was as bad as the post I made a few months ago entitled 'News Just In'

[Togliatti]

I don't get it. What's the point of an 'official language'?

It's important to have an official laguage to communicate with other in conferences and for the Official acts of the commission,it looks obvious to me.

Otherwise,there are many problems for the translations in all the languages,you must think that with the expansion of UE to East we will have more than 20 languages,it's impossible to transalte ( for example a speech) in every language.


Anyhow,the fact that the original post was clearly a joke doesn't mean that we can't talk about the topic seriously,Rude.Another joke was the proposal of French,despite everything it's impossible to think to estabilish an official language different from English..

[Nox]

Rude,

I assume this is an original work. You have my commendation for same.

Nox

[Adrien]

The question of languages in the EU is permanent, and with the arrival of the eastern countries, a new debate is opened... at least here.

As you know we like our language and are quite annoying with it, especially when it's about defending it against english, so here you have deputies that complain to the assembly about French loosing ground, demanding the government to push for measures to have speechs read in french too.. And when the commission tried to impose english for labels of food products imagine how it was..

Anyway, all that to say that German should be encouraged with the oppenning to the East, and that even if it's stupid to pretend that French should be the European official language for the institutions, you can bet that we will continue to annoy everybody with it.

[Krasniy Yastreb]

As you know we like our language and are quite annoying with it, especially when it's about defending it against english

I heard the French are being encouraged to replace the word 'E-Mail' with 'courier electronique'.

I doubt many people can be bothered with those extra 5 syllables. Especially when the French seem to talk very fast sometimes...

[Adrien]

Well more than speaking fast we speak bad and hurt our language more than the strangers that try to learn it sometimes. And more than "courrier electronique" we have a technical official name which is "courriel", which i think was probably launched when Jacques Toubon was Minister of Culture. This guy made a law to preserve French in advertisements, technics, television and all, but it seems that his law was removed or amended enough to allow us to be invaded with evil english slogans, terms and names!