- 24 Sep 2023 23:36
#15288369
First of sll, I completely 100% support people who decide to remain childless.
Secondly, the love of a child is immediate, simple, tangible, and can not ever be reciprocated nor should it be.
By immediate, I mean that the child begins loving whomever is bearing then inside them as they grow in the womb and develop their capacity for love. By the time a child is born, they know and are comforted by the presence of the sounds, smells, touch, et cetera of the parents.
It is simple in that the love of children is not clouded by the baggage that we all bring to our adult relationships. It is the closest thing to unconditional love that we experience.
It is tangible in that this love is expressed in simple and visceral ways, since that is what the child understands. Hugs, cuddles, napping on you.
Most importantly, it should not be reciprocated. Ever. I am willing to die for my children, without hesitation. And I would absolutely never want my children to feel the same way about me. They should let me die. In this respect, children can never pay their parents back. Instead, every generation pays it forward: we give that sacrificing love to our children instead of reciprocating it to our parents. That makes sense from an evolutionary perspective, from a moral perspective,
This may be due to something particular to you, your SO, or your relationship. Again, there is nothing wrong with this. Many couples correctly identify that their very awesome relationship would be made worse by kids. Many other couples have no idea, and some know very well that having kids would make things better.
And to be clear about making this decision in the modern dating and marrying context, there are more situations where being childless is the rational choice than there are situations where having children makes more sense.
There is a crack in everything,
That's how the light gets in...
Saeko wrote:Eh... I don't agree. Babies and small children are not capable of loving their parents, in my opinion. Their "love" is shallow and self-serving. It's not at all something I would be interested in.
A child might grow up to become an adult who truly does love their parent(s) in a mutually reciprocal, selfless manner, but they won't necessarily, and have no obligation to do so either. Also, it wouldn't be easy for them to develop that kind of relationship with their parents, given the vast difference in age and life-experience between parent and child.
First of sll, I completely 100% support people who decide to remain childless.
Secondly, the love of a child is immediate, simple, tangible, and can not ever be reciprocated nor should it be.
By immediate, I mean that the child begins loving whomever is bearing then inside them as they grow in the womb and develop their capacity for love. By the time a child is born, they know and are comforted by the presence of the sounds, smells, touch, et cetera of the parents.
It is simple in that the love of children is not clouded by the baggage that we all bring to our adult relationships. It is the closest thing to unconditional love that we experience.
It is tangible in that this love is expressed in simple and visceral ways, since that is what the child understands. Hugs, cuddles, napping on you.
Most importantly, it should not be reciprocated. Ever. I am willing to die for my children, without hesitation. And I would absolutely never want my children to feel the same way about me. They should let me die. In this respect, children can never pay their parents back. Instead, every generation pays it forward: we give that sacrificing love to our children instead of reciprocating it to our parents. That makes sense from an evolutionary perspective, from a moral perspective,
Furthermore, having a child would inevitably get in the way of building and deepening my relationship with my SO. So why would I risk destroying or damaging such a great relationship for someone who may or may not return that type of love for another 20-30 years? It makes no sense.
This may be due to something particular to you, your SO, or your relationship. Again, there is nothing wrong with this. Many couples correctly identify that their very awesome relationship would be made worse by kids. Many other couples have no idea, and some know very well that having kids would make things better.
And to be clear about making this decision in the modern dating and marrying context, there are more situations where being childless is the rational choice than there are situations where having children makes more sense.
There is a crack in everything,
That's how the light gets in...