[Demosthenes]

Canadian Liberals in Trouble! [yes this is inspired by Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back]

AP- JCMO* Hereafter refered to as the Clit, represent the growing number of Canadians who hate/fear their Southern brother, the United States.

Americans beware our brothers (or former brothers) to the North hate us now. They have bought in completely to the rhetoric perpetuated by the liberal media and leftist Americans as a whole.

They truely belive we are the next coming of the devil. They fear we will annex them, and the rest of the world is sure to follow. They see smoke where their is no fire and forsake any friendship with us as one-sided.

They fear every step we take as "treading on them" and generally pee their pants as a result. They cry Imperialism, deceit, and foul play any time the US does anything. They feel they are better served by following the dictates of Eurpeans and other less reputable countries. They no longer acknowledge the brotherhood we once felt, indeed even stooping so low as to jeer and insult teenage and younger Hockey players who cannot possibly be related to the United States Government's policies.

So what can we, fun loving, fuzzy, joyful Americans do when confronted by the Clit? Why follow the simple directions provided below, of course:

1) Never for any reason strike the Clit. No matter how it provokes you.
2) If confronted by the Clit, Be nice. Offer to buy the Clit a beer so as to better manipulate it.
3) When handling a Clit it is best to always protect yourself. Clit's are notorious for being dirty and unwashed.
4) Never Tease a Clit. They are very sensative and may become erect with fury.
5) A Clit should be stroked and loved despite the discharge they may direct at you.
6) Never pull the Clit. Once again they are very sensative to this and may react fiercly to such action.
7) The Clit is your friend even though they may not realize it at the moment. Use the golden rule when dealing with the Clit: "No means Yes"
When speaking to a Clit use caution, The Clit may be volitile and could erupt at any given moment.
9) If the Clit becomes agitated offer to stroke it with love and tenderness.
10) And finally remember the Clits are livng, breathing, things, even if they are misguided by external agitation, they can be wonderful playmates and can be quite enjoyable when properly aroused.


heh...heh...heh...

*Ap= Altenate press, JCMO is my local town, this thread is intended for parady only and is not intended to incite the Clit in any way. Further, it has been proven that laughter is the best medicine in 9 out of 10 medical publications.

[Steve]

I am insulted by this, especially as one of many non-liberal Canadians.

Despite what you may see from Canadians at this forum we're not all liberals.

[edit: ok Jaakko, I fixed it.]

[jaakko]

Despite what you may see from Canadians at this forum we're not all commies.

When has communism had anything to do with liberalism? Communists have always opposed it. Maybe there should be more communists in USA, so you wouldn't have to call petty bourgeois democrats 'communists'.

[A_Technocrat]

American Liberals hate America just as much as Canadian Liberals hate it.

[Boondock Saint]

American Liberals hate America just as much as Canadian Liberals hate it

Ok ... wait ... I have never met a liberal US citizen who 'hates' the US. Perhaps they dislike some gov't policies and most definitly dislike republicans and most certainly dislike (hate?) Bush (other then the lesbians ) but ... hate the US? I think not.

Most liberals I have met or heard or read love their respective nation of origin ... thats why they are so vocal against laws and policies they disagree with.

[socokid]

[Most liberals I have met or heard or read love their respective nation of origin ... thats why they are so vocal against laws and policies they disagree with.

This one included. Thanks, I have to "teach" people about this "wild" notion to ignorami constantly. If I didn't care so damn much for this "country", then I would probably do what the rest do...sit in front of the tube, taking what the head on TV says as gospel (OMG, don't get me staaaahted), form their world view by it, go to sleep, wake up the next day and go to work at their dictatorship run company and so on... I'd put a few dozen American flag stickers on my car, stop shopping at convenient stores that are run by non-Americans, tell people that think differently than me to leave the country, and then go on to explain how the latest military movie I just saw was the coooolest thing evaaaah!!

Again, "yeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaw!!!


Yup, THIS is why I feel compelled to "inform". Ignorance runs amok here (US), and it scares the hell out of me.

[socokid]

delete me!

tanks.

[socokid]

If Americans only "hate" their government's policies, etc., is it not possible that that is all the Canadians hate as well?

Absolutely. I think what I was particularly commenting on was the blanket comment, where "hating America" implies a hatred for everything American simply due to a disagreement with the actions as put forth by our "elected" representatives (the few in power) and their corporate constituents. This is simply not true which was the reasoning for my post. I hate the fact that they are using this unprecedented world power to protect and gain "national interests" that simply define the acquisition of more power/control and the spreading of fear as a means of creating a better world, and I couldn't disagree more.

I love this country, but I am increasingly hating the philosophy behind the use of it's power. Domestically and internationally.

Sorry, I'm a bit ranty today...

[CasX]

[Most liberals I have met or heard or read love their respective nation of origin ... thats why they are so vocal against laws and policies they disagree with.

This one included. Thanks, I have to "teach" people about this "wild" notion to ignorami constantly. If I didn't care so damn much for this "country", then I would probably do what the rest do...sit in front of the tube, taking what the head on TV says as gospel (OMG, don't get me staaaahted), form their world view by it, go to sleep, wake up the next day and go to work at their dictatorship run company and so on... I'd put a few dozen American flag stickers on my car, stop shopping at convenient stores that are run by non-Americans, tell people that think differently than me to leave the country, and then go on to explain how the latest military movie I just saw was the coooolest thing evaaaah!!

Again, "yeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaw!!!


Yup, THIS is why I feel compelled to "inform". Ignorance runs amok here (US), and it scares the hell out of me.

That was inspired

[Demosthenes]

Well, I'll let my first post speak for itself but Steve you shouldn't be offended, if your not a liberal Canadian then you can't be a member of the C.L.I.T. anyway. Besides I like Canada, in general. I just don't like the Canadians who are so stupidly Anti-American. If all else fails I did include a disclaimer...